This is me, I dont know who that is yet, but its what I do know

This morning, I was suppose to make it to a ten am class, and well the fact that it is ten am is a hard enough time for me, and even more so that the teacher gave me permission to skip the class makes it harder to get out of bed. I just want to start over and get out of here as soon as I possibly can. I need to start fresh, I want to start fresh. TAB and I talk about florida or california, I hope for California, I just want something different, but the sooner I can the better not only for me but for us. There are too many bad memories here, too much past that it is time to leave behind, including my haunting birth family. I love them but I need to let them go, and I need to let go of the ways that they make me feel. I am not a bad person, so why do I act like one sometimes? Why do I make myself seem like a much worse person that I am? How do I change all of these things about me I hate, the things that were never there before? How do I get away from everything and everyone like I need too? I just want things to be okay, and for things to work out. I love Tom, I love my new family, but I need things to change or at least the memories of things to change.